All day – scrap that – all week I’ve been receiving emails about Black Friday coming and all the money saving deals available. Today during my fresh air break into town, shoppers were everywhere and even darting out in front of ambulances in-case their shopping was delayed a fraction of a minute. It made me think – are we really that insensitive to life itself now and so possession focussed that we have almost come to the point of putting a price on life?
This morning I walked onto the ward to see a tank of nitric oxide next to Gwendolyn. This is not good. For fellow preemie/PICU parents they’ll know that sense of dread when they see it. For everyone else it basically means 100% of oxygen down a tube isn’t enough to keep her going now. She’s that poorly. It means things are bad. A quick google online tells me that it roughly costs around £26 per hour to use this on her. The 10ml specialist drug they used on her lungs this morning to try and clear them costs around £20. Did the doctors or nurse quibble over using it on her? Did they count their budgets first? No. They fix lives and they’re desperately trying to fix and save my baby girls life.
The black Friday emails – they make me sad because the only thing I see that is black about tomorrow, ( if last year is anything to go by) is that people will trample on each other to save £25 on a TV (also the running cost of my room in the hospital so I can be a short run away from her). It was named black because of the violence of shoppers, yet up and down the country tomorrow it will be black for a different reason for little families sat in NICU’s & PICU’s up and down the country. Black because they would give every penny and possession they had to help their doctor and nurse make their child better.
I’ll be hoping that it’s not so black for all our parents tomorrow. Fingers and toes crossed.