Jon had spent a lot of time away so far that year and I’d been having a hard time at work so the first weekend in May we decided to head up to Beddgelert in North Wales for a bit of a camping break. Two days before we were due to leave we found out that I was no longer going to be employed by the RAF & was being medically discharged, so a break away to work out what we were going to do next was perfect.
We’d spent two days walking in the woods, pub lunches and generally relaxing in the outdoors & both felt so much better for it. On the Sunday morning we got up with the intention of having a relaxed breakfast at the café in the village before catching the mountain railway train into Caernarfon for the day with the dogs. We were walking through the campsite when I thought I felt some warm discharge. I thought nothing of it until about a minute later there was a small gush. I told Jon I needed to pop to the loo to check something and I started to walk towards the toilet. Within yards my jeans were soaked & I could feel my heart starting to race as I walked faster towards the toilet. That was the first time I thought I was losing my baby, at 17 weeks and 4 days. Jon ran to get the car and we headed to Bangor Hospital, calling them on the way explaining that I thought my waters had gone.
I was absolutely terrified. Over the next hour the nurses came and checked the heartbeat and a doctor came to do a scan. We were told before the scan that if my waters had gone then I would likely go into premature labour soon. Hearts in mouths, the doctor started the scan. Our little one’s heartbeat was loud, clear and completely normal & best of all – he could still see a reasonable amount of water in there and baby was still moving around. As my vitals were completely normal, they popped me into a side room for observation while they ran blood tests to check for sepsis.
In between tests Jon had been running out to the car every now & then as the poor dogs were stuck there & we still had a tent with all our stuff in it pitched in the middle of a field! I felt so bad for Jon, he had no choice but to leave me there not knowing what would happen & travel the 30mins back to the campsite to take everything down.
My room in the hospital had a beautiful view out of the window of the Snowdonia mountains & I just sat there staring for I don’t know how long not able to cry or anything. It’s a running joke that I’m the Ice Queen amongst my close friends as I’m rarely sentimental or emotional & keep my feelings in check unlike my wonderful husband who cries at a good sob story on X-factor. I had limited battery on my phone & no charger (got to love camping) so knew I couldn’t start telling my friends what had happened as I didn’t know how to explain what my waters going would mean & why I was scared but couldn’t afford to be. I started writing a text to one of our closest friends, Laura, who was also pregnant knowing she’d know what it meant. Writing the text was like admitting what was happening to me so after sending it I started to cry.
“Don’t panic because I’m trying not to. I’m in Bangor hospital. It looks like my waters broke this morning. They’re not sure what’s happened. I’ve had a quick scan & there’s still a heartbeat & water round the baby so we just have to wait & see what happens in the next 24 hours xx”